Happy Birthday Meme!

Today is my Meme’s 88^th birthday!

Us 11 years ago

Any member of my family would agree it’s a happy, but sad occasion.

I am so happy to still have my grandmother , the woman I owe so much to, the person who was a big part of shaping me into me, here with us. At the same time my heart aches for her. I miss her so much. As I was looking for the pictures for this blog I had a big ol’ pregnancy ball fest. It doesn’t seem possible that it was four years ago when I lost a majority of the grandmother I knew.

I’ve told you this many many times before – my Meme has Alzheimer’s and as a granddaughter it is one of the worst things I have ever been through. It’s grief magnified by ten. I miss her so much, but at the same time she is still here. I needed her so many times during the past four years, I needed her to understand what I was saying, to give me advice, to pray for me and to worry as she always did.

At the same time she had provided many a laugh. I love visiting her on good days when she is a spit fire. On days when she picks at me and is just all around mean then tell me she loves me. That is my Meme. She reminds me of the grandmother how would buy us candy cigarettes and tell us to be sure not to light them. The Meme that would swat me when I was 18 for being sassy - I am so thankful for that woman.  I am so thankful that I had the relationship I had my her – I could tell her anything, but I tried to sensor myself as much as possible.

Oh this was supposed to be a happy post, sorry. After reading this, you will need some happiness…go see Leigh –I am sure she has something good for you.

Oh, if I have typos it’s because I couldn’t stand re-reading this without crying.