Hotmess, Hooligans and My Cell Phone

I am sitting here today knowing that I need to write. I need to get out more stories and help others, but It’s hard some days to face my past without fear of what it will mean to my future. Matt told me to just keep going “what’s the next part of your life?” “what is the next story?” 

I love hearing from everyone who is following along with me during this time, but at the same time it scares me. I am like “oh no, you’re reading this. Please don’t stop being my friend!” Even though I pray that during this process, that God is taking me through, I won’t lose any of you, I know that my story could possibly strike a nerve that hurts you as well. 

So for today let’s not go too deep. Let me tell you about a recent story. 

How about when I called my poor husband during his busy day at work and told him “A Hooligan stole me cellphone!” in a tone that meant drop everything and come track him down! 

Yesterday, I met Emily and the boys at the lake near our house (I am starting think they are ponds, not lakes, but maybe lakes - anyway they are man made bodies of water that have fish and ducks). We normally meet twice a week to walk and to have our therapy sessions with each other. I just listen, but Emily, she gives me some serious therapy sessions (I should start paying her). 

Toward the end of our time together. Bekah had her first public potty accident as she was climbing up to take one more trip down the slide. It was stressful to say the least. Since she was soaked down to her white easter shoes (because you know that is the perfect footwear for a park) I let her ride in the stroller while Morgan walked. Now, Morgan (God love her) has two speeds: run as fast as her little legs will let her or little old grandma. Of course, since I was in a hurry to get Bekah to the comfort of our car Morgan chose little old grandma and it took us much longer than normal. We also had to stop to look at every turtle and duck along the way. 

Before we crossed the street to our cars Emily and I compared Fitbit steps to praise each other for sweating our hinny-es off in the Houston humidity. (mine is always off and Emily is always ahead of me - I think it’s the stroller). I am quiet sure I slide my cellphone back into the crease in my stroller’s canopy because that is where I keep it safely while I walk. Since Bekah was still in the stroller (all 35 pounds of her), I had to pick up Morgan to cross the street (because she was not ready to leave). It was a sight probably. Me pushing the stroller with one hand and trying to hold up a fighting kid - we’ve all been there right?  I safely got the girls in the van, said my goodbyes to Emily and drove home. 

As I pulled into my drive way I thought “urgh I left me cellphone in the stroller again.” Yep, this happens quite often. After getting Bekah out and sending her inside to take her pee soaked clothes off I stopped by the trunk to get my phone before getting Morgan out of her seat. I opened the canopy - no phone. I went to  the front seat - no phone. I looked by Morgan’s seat - no phone. Oh crap! I can’t afford a new phone right now! I quickly got Bekah back in the car and headed straight back to the lake. I scanned the street as I pulled up to where I had been parked before, no sign of the phone. I got out, looked in the grass, no phone. I even asked a fat duck who waddled up hoping for more bread, “have you seen my phone?”

I got back in the car and went across the street where I had checked my Fitbit steps. I kicked my feet through the grass, no phone. I started to freak a bit. I checked through the van, again no phone. (I keep saying car, but Shirley is a van - yep, she has a name). I quickly (but safely) drove home (less than 5 minutes) and grabbed my ipad. This is where I stress to you the importance of the Find iPhone app - it’s a big deal when you lose your phone. I found my phone, but it was in a neighborhood by the lake and it was MOVING! That is when I first thought, Oh my goodness, some hoodlum stole my phone. Where they watching me? How did they get it so quickly?  I watched in horror as my phone traveled though the neighborhood to a convenient store down the street. Yep, I threw the girls back in the van and head down there. I am not sure what I was planning on doing looking like a hot sweaty mess not to mention having a kid in the back seat wearing just cinderella panties and a starwars t-shirt. I drove through the parking lot and eyeballed everyone - no one seem to look glittery. You know a “I just took someone’s iPhone” look. There weren’t really any hoopty cars because you know that is what a cellphone stealer drives, so I decided to head home. 

Since my iPad runs off of wifi the map popped back up again as soon as pulled into the driveway, now my phone was at the edge of a gated community between my house and the major highway. “Maybe they dumped it” I thought, so I backed out (safely - I just knew I’d get in a wreck with no phone and the before mentioned hot mess state) and headed that way. I slowly drove around the entrance hoping I’d see my navy Pray More Worry Less phone case in the grass. I found nothing. 

I headed back to my drive way just to see my phone at an elementary school. I mean, really? It was going all over the place. I keep using the play sound feature on the phone which emits a loud sound from the phone so you can find it. I also had started Lost Mode earlier which included a message and Matt’s number for them to call when my phone was found. Or as I thought when the criminals couldn’t handle the loud noise and wanted to turn themselves in. 

It was at this point when I used my FaceTime audio to call Matt at work. I was in tears, “Some hooligans (or I could have said hoodlums) stole my phone! What am I going to do?” He was at a loss, pretty much there is nothing that we could do, but watch it travel around the map of our area. I was heart broken especially since I haven’t been able to backup my phone in months - so many pictures. 

I went inside (of course after getting the girls out of the van) and just stared at the map. When I saw my phone in a neighborhood next to our church and changed my lost message to say “Please please please stop. Give me my phone back. You can take it to St John. They know me there. Just please give it back” like I was pleading for the life of my child. Then my iPad rang. Matt said “go to the CVS. There will be a Fedex truck there. He has your phone.” Praise the Lord! 

My hot-mess self loaded my poor girls up again and met a Fedex delivery guy in the parking lot. “Do you know where I found your phone?” he asked. “In the middle of the street?” I asked. “IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET” he said in a scolding tone and then laughed. I started laughing and said “I just realized why it keep traveling everywhere - you were making deliveries - ha!” He told me that it keep going off, but the alert didn’t come up except for my pathetic plea at the end. 

Looking back I wish I got his name, his card or something. I owe that Fedex guy. He saved me and I could have just hugged him (and that’s big coming from me). Moral of the story don’t put my cellphone in the canopy of my stroller and don’t jump to conclusions about the people who actually save you! 

Hey, at least Bekah’s theory wasn’t correct either when she said, “Mom did a big duck take your phone?” Trust me as I saw my phone travel all over the place I thought about it for a minute - I’ve been watching way too many cartoons.